Dave Johns
Fun facts about Dave Johns

Fun facts

Meryl Streep

Dave once told Meryl Streep that all the drinks at the BAFTA party were free

Sea Shanties

Dave has sang sea shanties in a sold out concert at the Minack Open Air Theatre in Cornwall.

Fishing

Dave has fished for crab and lobster off the coast of Port Issac, Cornwall.

Awards

Dave has won four film awards but never an Oscar.

Donald Sutherland

Donald Sutherland gave Dave a big bear hug at the Cannes Film Festival.

Jesus

Dave once saw the face of Jesus in a piece of toast (but it could have been Frank Zappa).

Sean Connery

Dave met Sean Connery in the Bahamas where he told Mr Connery how much he enjoyed his performance in Darby O'Gill and the Little People.

Horse Riding

Dave rode a horse for the first time in his life on a beach in the Bahamas in January 2017.

Esquire Magazine

Dave had a double page feature in Esquire Magazine.

Stand Up

The secret to being a Stand Up Comic is to always say really funny things.

Mark Rylance

Mark Rylance told Dave his acting in I, Daniel Blake was wonderful.  Dave thanked Mr Rylance for his kind words and asked Mr Rylance if he'd like to dance. Mr Rylance declined.

Jimi Hendrix

Dave loves Jimi Hendrix.

Favourite Rock Track

Dave's favourite rock track is Baba O'Riley by The Who.

Led Zeppelin

Dave saw Led Zeppelin in 1971.  The ticket cost £1.00

Favourite Author

One of Dave's favourite authors is Robert Harris.

Favourite Foods

Dave's favourite 3 foods are Sushi, Irish Stew and Roast Chicken - in any order.

Working Class

You can tell Dave is working class.  He has little bits of scratchcards under his finger nails.

Chess

Dave loves to play chess.  Sometimes he plays against opponents whilst he is blindfolded.  He never ever wins those games.

The Chase

Dave beat the Beast on Celebrity Chase October 2017. He couldn't catch me!

Edinburgh Fringe

Dave's show "I, Fillum Star" enjoyed a sell out run at The Pleasance King Dome 2017.

Harry Potter Genius

Dave's daughter is a genius at all things Harry Potter and is much better than her dad at everything !!!!!

Bo Diddly

Dave once sang on stage with the legendary R & B guitarist  Bo Diddly at The Mayfair in Newcastle.

Favourite Cities

Dave's ten favourite cities are:- Sarajevo, Mumbai, Prague, Venice, Paris, Melbourne, New York, San Sebastian, London and Edinburgh.

Favourite Actor

Dave's favourite actor is Mark Rylance.

Favourite Actress

Dave's favourite actress is Isabelle Huppert.

Favourite Comic

Dave's favourite comic is Sean Lock.

Donkey Business

Dave applied for a licence to run donkey rides a few years ago on Whitley Bay beach.  Sadly, due to bureaucracy, Dave's donkey ride dream did not materialise and Whitley Bay beach remains donkey free to this day.

Ukelele

Dave can play the ukulele.

Rita Heyworth and the Shawshank Redemption

Dave Johns and Owen O'Neill had an idea one day to write the stage adaptation of The Shawshank Redemption. They asked Stephen King if they could adapt his short story.  Stephen said yes and every Autumn it now tours the UK. 

Shipwrecked

Dave was once shipwrecked off the coast of Sweden in the late 70’s on the DFDS car ferry, the Sir Winston Churchill.

Kevin Eldon

Dave was in Kevin Eldon's TV show, It's Kevin.

Vampire Girly Puffs of Sodom

Dave's first show at the Edinburgh Fringe was in 1992.  It was called Vampire Girly Puffs of Sodom. It got four one star reviews. 

Set List

Dave is very good at the comedy show Set List where comedians improvise suggested topics from a screen live on stage.

NYC

Dave has gigged in New York City.

Impro

Dave is a talented improvisator who regularly guests with the Comedy Store Players’ impro team.

Tokyo

Dave and Owen O'Neill's stage adaptation of The Shawshank Redemption played Tokyo in 2014 with an entire Japanese cast.  

Vangelis

Dave's favourite scifi film is Ridley Scott's Bladerunner.  

Favourite Musical

One of Dave's favourite musicals is "West Side Story".

Favourite Book

One of Dave's favourite books is "Star of the Sea" by Joseph O'Connor.

Message in a Bottle

Dave once found a bottle on a beach with a sheet of paper in the bottom.  When he took it out and read it, the note said "You have no messages".

Favourite Song

One of Dave's favourite songs is "Beyond the Sea"  by Bobby Darren.

Favourite Artist

One of Dave's favourite artists is Marc Chagall.

Ant & Dec

Dave directed Ant & Dec in the Wizard of Oz when they were kids.

Yes Darrell

Dave has appeared on the legendary Australian TV show "Hey Hey It's Saturday" three times.

Not Guilty

In 2003 Dave and a bunch of comics toured Australia and New Zealand with the  stage play 12 Angry Men.

White Water Frolics

In 2001 Dave, Sean Lock and Johnny Vegas shot the rapids on the St Lawrence River in Canada.  Johnny fell overboard, Sean and Dave laughed.

Dog Town

Dave did a sitcom once called Dog Town for BBC 3.  Yes you are correct, you've never heard of it.

Product Placement

If you're like Dave and you hate product placement ads, why not do what Dave does when he gets angry about it?  Stay at the wonderful five star Hathaway Hotel Golf Club and Spa, Cleethorpes..

Near East

Dave has  performed many times in the Middle East,  the Far East, but never the Near East.

Rommel

Dave has appeared on Never Mind the Buzzcocks five times.  On one show a joke about Rommel being invisible went down very well.

Cheating

Dave has appeared on Celebrity Pointless where Omid Djalili cheated to win:

As Yet Untitled

Dave has appeared on the Alan Davies show As Yet Untitled.

Cats

Dave has appeared on 8 out of 10 Cats.

Plantlife

Dave once operated the plant, Audrey 2, in the musical, The Little Shop of Horrors, at the Tyne Theatre and Opera House.

Norway

Dave has toured Norway in the early 90s.

Mumbai

Dave has performed stand up in Mumbai, India many times.

Comedy Store

Dave is one of only a handful of comedians that have played on every night at the Comedy Store, London.

Shakespeare

Dave has been in the stage play Measure for Measure by a man called William Shakespeare.

Pudding

Ken Loach wouldn't let Dave have any dessert at lunch on the set of I Daniel Blake.  Ken told him: "Pudding is the enemy of creativity"

Cannes

Dave was in a film which won the Palme D'or at the 2016 Cannes film festival.

The Odd Couple

Dave played Murray in the stage play The Odd Couple with Bill Bailey & Alan Davies to much critical acclaim.

Falsie

Not many people know, but Dave has a false right leg with a real foot on the end.

Glass eye

Dave has a glass eye, see if you can spot it when you meet him.

Shawshank

Dave co-wrote the stage play The Shawshank Redemption.

West End play

Dave has written a play that ran on the West End stage.

Daniel Blake

Dave was in a film called I Daniel Blake.  He played Daniel Blake. It was shot in Byker where Dave was born.

Irish pub in Bali

Dave once did a gig in an Irish pub in Bali, where an Indonesian midget danced on a table dressed as a leprechaun throughout his whole set.

Comedy Support Act

Dave co-founded the comedians’ benevolent fund, Comedy Support Act.

Pot holing

Dave did pot holing in his twenties all over Yorkshire.

Mark Lamarr

Dave was once a professional gambler whose nickname was “The Coat” on race tracks throughout the UK.  Comic Mark Lamarr once remarked "Are you sure that is what they were calling you?".

Toon Army

Dave supports the Toon Army & Newcastle United.

The Simpsons

At the Edinburgh Festival Dave once asked Dan Castellaneta of The Simpsons to do the voice of Homer for him. Castellaneta said he would as long as Dave closed his eyes.  Dave closed his eyes and Castellaneta fucked off.. Doh !

Woody Allen

Dave once went up in a lift at the Intercontinental Hotel in Cannes with Woody Allen. They did not speak to each other.

Christian Slater

Dave appeared on the West End stage with movie star, Christian Slater in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.   He once said to Christian Slater  “I just want to say, Christian, I really loved the movie Minority Report.” To which Christian answered “I wasn't in Minority Report” To which Dave answered “I know, I just wanted to say I really loved it”. They became great buddies after that.

12 Angry Men

Dave played Juror Six in the stage play 12 Angry Men at the Assembly rooms Edinburgh fringe 2003: After breaking box office records and having huge critical acclaim it then went on to tour Australia & New Zealand.

Sister

Dave has a sister.

Ten year old

The Dave you see today was once a ten year old child.. it must have been around 1966.

Ziggy Stardust

Dave was in the front row of the David Bowie Ziggy Stardust tour at Sunderland Empire in 1972 when one of Bowie's testicles popped out.  There was no glitter on it. 

Pink Floyd

Dave fell asleep at a show of the Pink Floyd tour of Dark Side of the Moon in the early 70s.

The Sex Pistols

Dave saw the Sex Pistols live when they toured as The Spots.

I'm in the Attic, Mother

Dave did a very funny show at the Edinburgh Fringe in 1999 titled I'm in the Attic, Mother.

Edinburgh

Dave won the Spirit of the Fringe Award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in 1997.

Ken Loach

Dave was once in a film directed by Ken Loach.

Dinosaur egg

Dave owns a 170 million year old dinosaur egg.

University of life

Dave never went to university.  He studied at the University of Life where he got a 2/1 in Animal Husbandry.

Wet weekend

Dave has played many festivals in his time  - Notably one year at Glastonbury in the worst storms on record

Rubber Bishops

Dave once stayed in Durham Castle in a thunderstorm with Bill Bailey, then in the double act the Rubber Bishops. Also in the castle that night was Harry Hill & Bob Mills.

Toon talent

Dave was co-director of the first Newcastle International Comedy Festival, which ran every October from 1993 to 2001 bringing worldwide comedy talent to the Toon.

Ross Noble

Dave ran Newcastle's first weekly comedy club, The Comedy Cafe, from 1989-1998 at the Tyne Theatre, Westgate Road...Where he gave a 14 year old called Ross Noble his first gigs.

Paid weekend

Dave's first paid weekend at the Comedy Store, London was in 1991

First London gig

Dave's first gig in London was at the Comedy Cafe, Rivington Street, London in 1991 - followed by the Cartoon at Clapham, hosted by a very young Sean Lock - they later became great friends

Frank Skinner

Dave's first professional paid gig outside Newcastle was at Frank Skinner's comedy club, the Bearwood Tavern, Birmingham where he received the fee of £80 - or £1000 pounds in today's money. On the bill that night was Alan Davies and Lee Evans

First gig

Dave first stepped on stage as a stand up comic at the Comedy Cafe, Tyne Theatre, Newcastle on the 25th March 1989. On the bill that night was Jo Brand and Mickey Hutton

Submarine

Dave has performed inside the Arctic circle, in Cambodia and in the wardroom on board a nuclear submarine in Guam, where all the officers wore dresses.

Melbourne comedy

Dave has played Melbourne International Comedy Festival four times

Kilkenny

Dave has played Kilkenny Cat Laughs comedy festival.

Galway

Dave has played Galway comedy festival.

Cindy Crawford

In 2004 Dave shared a bag of chips with 90’s supermodel Cindy Crawford in a Soho alley just outside the Gielgud theatre

Sean Lock and Johnny Vegas

Dave has supported Sean Lock and Johnny Vegas on tour

Ridgeway

Dave once walked the Ridgeway with comedians Bill Bailey, Sean Lock, Kevin Eldon, Omid Djalili and Martin Trenaman.

Mick Jagger

Mick Jagger once told one of Dave's jokes to tens of thousands of Stones fans at Hampden park, Glasgow. Rumour has it from a fan that it died on its arse and the band went quickly into Start Me Up....

Prince

Dave once did the warm up slot for Prince, The Purple One himself, on  Tyne Tees’ legendary music show, The Tube, in 2000.  While Prince was standing waiting in the wings to go on, Dave told him to  "Keep it tight mate".

Erect

Dave and fellow comedian, Mike Gunn, while in Australia were both chased by a kangaroo with an erection at Hanging Rock. They were also chased by an emu, who didn't have an erection but was equally angry.

Clown

Dave first played Australia in 1997 on a now legendary  comedy festival tour where Dave hired a clown to spend the day with him and eight comics on kangaroo island. Dave is still friends with the clown.

Just For Laughs

Dave played Montreal's Just For Laughs festival in 2001 in the Brit Com Show.  He witnessed legend Johnny Vegas have one of the most hilariously glorious stage deaths ever. Watching from the side of the stage at the St Denis Theatre Gala Show, six British comics had tears of laughter streaming down their faces.

First London gig

Dave's first gig in London was at the Comedy Cafe, Rivington Street, London in 1991 - followed by the Cartoon at Clapham, hosted by a very young Sean Lock - they later became great friends

Frank Skinner

Dave's first professional paid gig outside Newcastle was at Frank Skinner's comedy club, the Bearwood Tavern, Birmingham where he received the fee of £80 - or £1000 pounds in today's money. On the bill that night was Alan Davies and Lee Evans

First gig

Dave first stepped on stage as a stand up comic at the Comedy Cafe, Tyne Theatre, Newcastle on the 25th March 1989. On the bill that night was Jo Brand and Mickey Hutton

Rubber Bishops

Dave once stayed in Durham Castle in a thunderstorm with Bill Bailey, then in the double act the Rubber Bishops. Also in the castle that night was Harry Hill & Bob Mills.

Paid weekend

Dave's first paid weekend at the Comedy Store, London was in 1991

Ross Noble

Dave ran Newcastle's first weekly comedy club, The Comedy Cafe, from 1989-1998 at the Tyne Theatre, Westgate Road...Where he gave a 14 year old called Ross Noble his first gigs.

Toon talent

Dave was co-director of the first Newcastle International Comedy Festival, which ran every October from 1993 to 2001 bringing worldwide comedy talent to the Toon.

Wet weekend

Dave has played many festivals in his time  - Notably one year at Glastonbury in the worst storms on record

Melbourne comedy

Dave has played Melbourne International Comedy Festival four times

Kilkenny

Dave has played Kilkenny Cat Laughs comedy festival.

Jesus

Dave once saw the face of Jesus in a piece of toast (but it could have been Frank Zappa).